A Promise Of Roses
by CineMatik
Summary: She used to live in the Darkness...


**A Promise of Roses**

She used to be in the Darkness, and she kept others at arm's length. She withdrew into herself, and never thought to venture out of her cocoon, the dark home she had built. It was filled with pain. Depression. Anger at the world. It lacked love. Compassion. A sense of self worth. And there she stayed by her lonesome self, believing the World was filled with the ignorant who knew nothing about life, the true life in the Darkness, which was were she dwelled.

She often longed for someone else, someone to share in the Darkness with her, to feel the pain together. Maybe they could even heal each other. Maybe they could be as One, One in the Darkness.

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She saw Him, one night, sitting on a bench all alone. His dark hair hiding his face, in a long dark trench coat. She was pulled to Him, and went to Him.

"May I sit here?" she said tentatively, for she was not used to speaking to strangers, or anyone for that matter. He looked up. His eyes were like two abysses, boring into her face, as though He could see the Darkness that was inside her. He slowly nodded and made room for her. She sat down. They stayed like this for the longest time it seemed to her. But it was only for a few minutes. Then He suddenly got up and walked away. She looked at his slowly fading figure, striding down the city streets, walking past the crazy, mindless people of the World. And smiled.

It was the first smile she had smiled in weeks, months, maybe even years. She did not know. Everything from the past seemed like a haze to her. Her parents, who were they? Her friends, did she even know their names? It seemed like everyone had gone ahead to a place she knew nothing about, and she was left completely, utterly alone.

And then there was Him. The lone figure on the bench. Who walked away from her. What was _his_ name? Who was _he?_

She came up to me, like a dark angel of the night. "May I sit here?" she asked. I could sense her shyness. I thought her the most beautiful female I'd ever seen. I was lost for words, and felt myself nod instead. As she sat there beside me, I could feel her presence. Warm. Inviting. I smiled. What was happening to me? I hadn't felt a smile on my lips for a long time. I had to get away; this stranger was making me feel strange things…

"What is your name?" she asked. She saw Him, sitting again by Himself on the metro. She had to go talk to Him. "And why did you run away?" He looked up at her. Again, his eyes bore into her, into her very dark, dark, soul.

"I ran away", His voice caught in his throat, as if he wasn't used to speaking. He tried again, "I left because I could not bear to sit beside you," he answered frankly.

"Do you find me so repulsive?" she asked, a hint of pain in her eyes. He looked alarmed.

"Oh, no, I find you the sweetest angel I've ever seen. An angel of the night. I could not bear to sit beside such perfection." Is he mocking me, she thought. No one had ever told her she was an angel. Or sweet for that matter. She looked into his eyes, and knew his proclamations were genuine. And she did it again. She smiled. A sad smile. A sweet smile.

They left the station hand in hand, on their way to a coffee shop He knew. The way they clung to each other, as if they depended on each other to stand upright. To make it through the Darkness. Maybe they did.

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"What are you looking at?" He asked.

"The Stars. And the Moon." She answered. "I used to think the Heavens were my real home, and I would stare up at the night sky for hours at a time, forgetting the sadness of the World, the rage and the wounds. The disappointments. Everything. The Moon was my comfort. Not as bright as the harsh Sunlight, but soft and glowing, I always thought She protected me… I'm sorry, I'm talking too much aren't I? I'm just not used to it, I guess."

"That's okay", he said. "I like to hear your voice. It soothes me. It makes _me _forget."

"What have you to forget?" she asked suddenly, then looked ashamed. "I'm sorry, forgive me, I do not mean to pry into your life."

"Oh no, you have nothing to apologize for. It was a simple honest question. That I will answer. I have many things to forget. Like you, I have felt the sadness, the rage, the wounds, the disappointments. In ways, we are more alike than we might realize. But in others, we are so different." And so the couple talked. Their souls connected, and she had her wish. They slowly became One, One with the Darkness, and slowly, ever so slowly, began to heal.

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"Promise me one thing", she asked him.

"What is it?"

"Promise me you'll be with me. Forever. And ever. And ever." She emphasized each word with a kiss. "Please, promise me."

"I promise, my princess, that I will be with you Forever. And ever. And ever…" He answered.

How could anyone be so perfect, He asked Himself, watching her sleep. Her long black hair, her pale skin, her dark red lips. Her mouth, which she used to grace gentle kisses on His own. She looked just like a princess, as he liked to call her. It was not hard to promise her such a thing. For He had come to love her, and He was sure she loved Him too. But He was afraid to tell her. To admit this deep undying Love. It seemed as if His princess was afraid of it. Love. The Darkness inside them both prevented them from even saying that word. But they had come to mean the world to each other. They depended on each other. Needed each other. And so He could not frighten her with this new feeling. This feeling of Love…

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"Look at them all. Walking through this World as if it belonged to them. With their laughter and their cheer and their Light. It sickens me. But under all this Light, the Darkness still lingers. If only they would listen to it, they would see the World through our eyes, feel it through our sorrow. " She said.

"Why do you hate the Light so? What is so wrong with it? What harm has it done? " He asked, almost hesitantly.

"Because the Light is fickle, it is always changing, but the Darkness stays the same. It has never deserted me, it is always with me."

And they left it at that. But she looked at Him with a curious look in her eyes, as if she saw a side of Him she hadn't known was there.

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"Where were you? I've been waiting all night! Where were you?" she questioned, and her tone was heartbreaking to Him.

"I stopped to help a girl who was in trouble. She had just been attacked, and I helped her get to the hospital. I stayed with her until the doctors reassured me that she was all right. Then I came straight here. To you."

"You lie!" she said. She was feeling particularly bitter and cynical at the moment, a fact He quickly noted.

"You were with someone else, weren't you? You betrayed me. If you want to go after the Light, then the Light you'll have. But you will not do it in my presence. Leave, leave me be, and don't come back!"

"Listen, my princess, I love you, I would never betray you, you of all people my Angel, you who knows me so well, because our souls are One, you should know that I would never do this, because I love you and you love me. "

At the sound of those words, especially the word Love, her face twisted in fury.

"How dare you use that word? You don't love me, you don't and neither do I. Go away. Go away I tell you. Don't come back."

He stared at her. With those deep dark eyes open wide, he stared at her. A look of absolute shock on his face. Shock and anguish.

"My princess," he whispered. His hand reached out as if to touch her. Then he cast his eyes downward, turned deliberately, and walked away without another word. Without looking back.

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I can make it on my own, she told herself. I don't need him. I hate Him for what He's done to me. Maybe if she said it enough times, she'd actually come to believe it. Where is He? Will He ever come back? All of these thoughts ran through her head as she walked briskly down the sidewalk, head down, whizzing past innocent bystanders on a wild rampage. She combed the city, seeking any sight of his face. His sweet wonderful beautiful face. There goes our coffee shop. The station where I met him. The table in the park where we had a picnic once.

She bumped into someone. Someone with a long black trench coat. She looked up. Yes, black shaggy hair. She looked up further. No, His eyes. They weren't His eyes. It wasn't Him. Her face drooped, the excitement present there just a second ago faded. Of course it wasn't Him. He wasn't coming back. And with that realization, she couldn't stand up any longer. She plopped down on the nearest place to sit, looked around, and immediately closed her eyelids and sighed. It was the bench where they had first met. When he'd walked away from her. Why was every little thing reminding her of Him? Why did she keep on returning to these places? These places where they had been together, as close to bliss as they could possibly have gotten. She sighed again. And her sigh turned into a very deep breath, which in turn became a heart-wrenching sob. She was crying! The tears she had kept at bay all these years streamed down her face, and she was unable to stop them. People passing by glanced at her curiously. Get away from me, you fools. Your Light and your happiness and your smiles don't fool me! But she couldn't help remembering a time, long ago. A time when she had been innocent like these passerby…

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I will be returning to my Angel soon. Soon, I will be a changed man, and hopefully she will forgive me. This Place has been good to me, and so has my companion, but I long to see her face again, and kiss her one more time. I once promised her that I would love her Forever. Be with her Forever. And I don't break my promises.

**PART II**

"Hey Mom! Hey Daddy! I'm back! Did you miss me?" said her younger self, laughing, as her parents opened the door.

"Come in, come in. Honey, of course we missed you. How was the camp? Did you have a good time? Did you make any new friends?" asked her smiling mother, as she bombarded her with questions. She had just returned from band camp where she'd spent two months playing her flute with her other band friends. But she'd missed her parents and was glad to be back home at last. As she headed towards the living room with them, she saw they had company. A man, a woman she guessed was his wife, and a child were seated on the couch. On the table were glasses and drinks her mother had served.

"Oh, Honey, meet your father's new business partner. This is his wife and their newborn baby." She went over to greet them, and the man held out his hand.

"It's nice to finally meet the famous daughter. You should be very proud, your parents have told us a lot of great things about you," he said cordially. Her younger self blushed and shook his hand.

She still remembered how he had made her laugh. How she thought he was a nice man, and what a stroke of luck that Daddy had finally found a good partner. Little did she know how much he would change her life. How he would suddenly turn her into a completely different person from the naïve young girl she had been before his arrival.

So when he showed up at her door again, some time later, she let him in. Outside, it was already dark, a night sky barren of bright stars. He was here to see her parents, he said. But they went out, she explained to him. She was home alone doing her homework waiting for them. They would not be back for at least a few hours. That was perfectly fine, he would wait for them. And so she let him in, let him enter her home, perfectly unaware of his intentions. The scene played over in her mind. How she sat quietly, head bent over her studies. For she was a serious straight-A student who never got into trouble, was well liked by everyone. She was the epitome of a 'good little girl' who loved her parents and thought the World was wonderful. That life was wonderful.

He came over to her. Asked her if she needed any help on her homework, because he was a professor and might be able to help her. He got her talking to him, while inching closer and closer. His hands becoming bolder and bolder. At first her innocent younger self did not know what the man wanted. But when she saw his once amiable facial features twisted in a horrid look of pleasure, when she heard him groan and make awful noises, she realized. Maybe she did not fully realize because she didn't try to run away or scream or yell. Maybe she even wanted him to. Maybe she still believed that the man was good and would not do this. But she was wrong.

He raped her, all the while whispering things in her ears. Don't be afraid he whispered. This is perfectly normal. I just want to show you how much I like you. You're a good girl, don't be afraid, he said. And when he was done with her he left as quietly as he had come, leaving behind a shamed girl full of guilt and confusion. Don't be afraid he had said. But she was. He had called her a good girl. But she wasn't. She was a very bad girl indeed.

After this encounter the girl turned temperamental and irritable. She pushed others away: her friends, her family, even her parents whom she had loved so dearly. Maybe it was her way of punishing herself, because she felt she didn't deserve them. Not after what she had done. No one must ever have found out about what had happened because she was to blame. She had let it happen. It was a grown, married man's word against hers. And so she pushed them farther and farther away. Pretty soon her friends, (or so they called themselves), abandoned her. She started hanging around the "rough crowd" at school. Kids who she had always stayed away from. Kids who did bad things like she'd done.

It wasn't long before she started wandering into the darker parts of the city where she lived. Looking for a place to hide. A way for her to forget about her old life. Before she'd experienced one of the cruelest things a person could ever endure. And in that quest she found herself living in the wonderful world of drugs and violence and crime. Her grades slipped. Her friends had long ago left her. She spent her nights in bars and clubs, dancing and indulging in hard liquor, laughing at herself. She, who just a while ago had never even tasted beer, was now taking shot after shot without giving it another thought. Her family was starting to lose patience with her. They were not accustomed to this strange new attitude in her. They weren't prepared for this new side of their daughter. But she felt she had nowhere else to go. She couldn't tell them. If she did, they wouldn't love her anymore. She wouldn't be Daddy's little girl anymore. And so she kept it from them. This dark secret that ate at her insides and made her sick. And her world spiraled down, everything falling apart.

It had gotten to a point when she couldn't bear to keep it to herself any longer. So she told them. And they believed her, comforted her, and her world was happy again, The End. No. No, that's not what they did. Instead the words she heard were, "How can you tell such lies? You think we don't know what you've been doing? We found drugs in your room. You come in way past your curfew, drunk. You don't talk to us. You don't follow our rules, when all we ever wanted was what was best for you. How can you say that about him? Is this some kind of desperate cry for attention?"

She could hardly believe it. Her own parents did not believe her. Her own parents had abandoned her. She had no one else in her life, no one she could trust. So she left.

Only to be picked up by a guy by the name of Todd. He found her asleep on a cold hard bench one lonely night, and offered her a place to stay. From then on, she worshipped him, and clung to him, thinking he was the greatest guy she'd ever met. He had reached out when she'd had no one else left, and she felt she owed it to him somehow. In the beginning, he cared for her. Brought her gifts. Listened to her. Comforted her. He brought her stuff he insisted would make her feel better. And her addiction became steadily worse. As time went on, she saw another side of him. The drunken side of Todd.

"Can't you do anything right, you ungrateful slut! I pick you up off the streets and this is what I get, you can't even fix me a nice meal once in a while?" he yelled, his face dark red with rage. She knew it was coming before it actually happened, and braced herself for the blow. It came, and came hard on the side of her head.

"I'm sorry," she cried. "I won't do it again. Please stop. Please. Please…"

Later that same day she lay in bed alone, because Todd was out drinking. Again. Lately, he'd become so angry. She guessed the fact that he'd lost his job and she was now the one bringing in food and money was to blame. Or maybe he'd had some hard knocks in life too, and just couldn't handle it. Whatever it was, she had to hope he would get through it, because he couldn't keep on hurting her. She couldn't leave him either, she loved him. Or at least she thought she did. And look at all he'd done for her. No, she couldn't leave him.

One day, after months of this kind of treatment, she finally had a stroke of luck. She and Todd were eating in a broken down old diner. He was harassing her as usual, getting ready to land one of his worst ones on her. She tried to get away, but his fingers clamped her small wrist tightly and would not let go. The waitress nearby saw this. And her dark brown eyes grew furious. She came over, dumped the steaming hot pot of coffee she'd been holding on Todd's head, and while he was screaming, held out a hand to her. She took it.

They instantly bonded and became friends, dear friends for life. Her friend's name was Scarlet, and she'd helped her because she too had been in a relationship where her boyfriend beat her constantly, taking out his anger at the World on her. She explained to Scarlet that Todd was the only one she had, that he had helped her when no one else wanted her. That she really thought she loved him, and that was why she stayed with him. She had no other choice. "You _always_ have another choice," said Scarlet.

She remembered how she'd admired Scarlet. Her light brown skin always shone, her lips were always ready to smile, even though she was homeless like herself. Scarlet had had a tough life too. Both her parents died when she was little, and she'd spent most of her childhood in an orphanage. Later she'd been sent to foster homes, but was unhappy and had eventually run away.

Together, the two went out into the World once more. But their dark lives led them to their old habits, their old addictions that they were not yet ready to battle. They were forever looking for something stronger. Something to take the pain away and leave them numb. Void of feeling and of injuries.

And that was how they met Jim the Dealer. He always had something for them, and they soon came to depend on him. At first, he let them go without paying, trusting them when they said they would pay him later. She was addicted too, but not as much as Scarlet was. Her friend had found out she was pregnant. In her was the child of a good-for-nothing tyrant who had made every day she spent with him miserable. And because of that she needed more. Always more. It was a fact the Dealer wasn't happy with.

"Where's my money, bitch? Huh? Where's my money?!"

"I'll have it for you later, I promise, but I can't right now. I just need another supply, and then I'll pay you later, I promise."

"No, I ain't givin' you shit 'til you bring me what you owe. Of course, if you can't pay with cash, there's always other services you could offer me. I wouldn't even mind screwin' a knocked up chick like you," he said, his greedy eyes looking her over. Scarlet, of course, refused to do this, which infuriated Jim even more.

"I wouldn't be with you if you were the last man on earth, you piece of scum!" she said with contempt. It was the first time she'd spoken back to him. She always tried to be nice because he had what she wanted.

"You watch what you say, bitch. You wouldn't want me going after you. Trust me. If you don't have my money soon, I might just have to do something about it."

Even though her pregnancy scared her, Scarlet was also looking forward to it.

"Maybe this baby is what I need to bring some happiness in my life. Give me something to love and take care of, someone who will love me back. I think I'll name it Rosie, if it's a girl. My father used to bring my mother roses. I always liked to smell them. But that was a long time ago. Rosie. What do you think?" she asked, smiling and rubbing her swollen stomach.

"I think that's the most beautiful name for a baby. I hope it's a girl, and that you get your wish Scarlet. You of all people deserve it." She said.

Then, she remembered that one night. The night they walked out of the nightclub drunk and stoned, and met Jim the Dealer. He had come for his money. Or else. Three big thugs closely followed him, and he had an evil look in his eyes. Before the girls knew it, they were both pinned down.

"Let this be a lesson to you," he told her as he looked at her. "Ain't nobody gonna cheat money off me and expect to get away with it!" The Dealer made her watch as he took a knife, and plunged it into Scarlet's body. That's when she passed out.

When she came to, she saw her one and only friend left in the World. Drowning in a pool of her own blood. Her own crimson blood. Scarlet blood. Just like her name. Cold and stiff. A knife sticking out of the middle of her chest. Dead. And she stood there, the rage building up, burning in her chest. Mourning the lost life of her friend. Grieving the loss of Rosie, who had never had a chance to come into this World. And her mother, who had left it so prematurely.

Once again, she was left alone. With no one left to love. No one to love her. Now she understood just why Scarlet had been so happy about the baby. But it just seemed that everyone she'd ever loved, her friends, her family, Scarlet, Rosie, even Todd, had either disappointed her, abandoned her, or the World had taken them unjustly from her. So she decided not to love. And that's when the Darkness had overtaken her.

As she sat there on the bench, alone, remembering these events of her life, the tears perpetually ran down her face. The blood. All that blood. These memories she had tried so hard to forget were flooding back. All because of Him. She hadn't planned on falling in love with Him. After all, hadn't she promised herself to be stronger? To keep everyone away so that they could not hurt her? To let the Darkness inside her heart comfort her? But it did no good. She loved Him, but He was gone. Gone when she finally realized she needed Him the most.

Just then, a shadow came across her and interrupted her morbid thoughts. She looked up, and a tall figure loomed above her. And a voice, as if from Heaven, said,

"Don't cry my princess. I've come back, please don't cry," He said. And it was really Him this time. Because she looked up in His eyes, and she knew.

In His arms He held red roses. Scarlet roses, which He handed to her. She felt his warm touch as he wiped away her tears, and hugged him tightly.

"I'm never letting you go again," she said. "Where did you go? I missed you."

"Well, remember the girl I told you about, the one I helped?"

"Yes…"

"She found me again, to thank me for my help. And to invite me to go with her to a Faraway Place. On an island where the Sun always shines and the Light is all around. It is in everything, it is everything. And the Light helped me. So did the girl. They both helped me, and changed me." He had gone to the Light. Without her. With the other girl instead. She did sense a change in him. His eyes, they were the same, but different. They were filled with Light. Had he really betrayed her?

"Well, that sounds nice," she said to cover up her distress. He saw right through it.

"Now, don't be so sad my princess. I came back for you. I want to take you there. To the Faraway Place. So you can see for yourself how wonderful it is. There are roses everywhere there. Some as pale as your smooth skin. Some deep purple like your eyes. And some, like the ones in your hands now, a luscious red, like your lips. Please say you'll come with me. Please trust me. I want to show you a better place than this dreary city. A place where we might be happy together. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" she said slowly. What _did_ she think, she asked herself. The Place might be good. Of course it would remind her of the past that she had tried to erase from her mind, but somehow, it didn't seem that terrible anymore. And she would be with Him. And they just might be happy there, like He said. "I think… I think, I will go with you, my Love. I will trust you and go with you. I will go to the Faraway Place with the roses and the Light. Only because I love you." She took his hand, and together they went off to the Faraway Place.

Later, as they sat among the roses, with the Sun over their head, she told him her secrets. She told him everything, and when it was over, she felt much better. The best she had felt in a long, long time. It felt so good to speak with Him again, lean in close and whisper her secrets.

"Now you know me, more than anyone else in the World," she said.

"And because of that I love you even more," he said. "But I think you should try and find your parents again. You shouldn't be separated from them like that. Think about Scarlet, who had no parents. You still have yours; be thankful, be with them."

"What you're saying is hard for me to do. Let's think about that later, when we get back there. Right now, I want to be with you. In this truly amazing Place."

"Forever?" He asked. And they both smiled, as if they shared a secret just between the two of them.

"Yes, Forever."

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The two lovers lied there, content in each other's arms. She who had settled so deeply in the Darkness was now full of Light. She liked to think that her shadowy past stayed with her along with the Darkness, and she was glad to remember it sometimes, to see how much she'd grown. She was grateful for Him, because He had saved her. Possibly, she had saved Him too.

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